8/6/10

[battle]

It's a battle between the heart and the mouth.
Between the spirit and the soul.
The emotions and the mind.
And the mouth.
- - - - -------------------------


[help me to be the following]


James 3:17-18



17But the wisdom from above is first of all pure (undefiled); 
then it is peace-loving
courteous (considerate, gentle). 
[It is willing to] yield to reason, 
full of compassion and good fruits; 
it is wholehearted and straightforward,
impartial and unfeigned 
(free from doubts, wavering, and insincerity).
18A n d  t h e  h a r v e s t  o f  r i g h t e o u s n e s s 
(of conformity to God's will in thought and deed) 
is 
[the fruit of the seed] 
sown in peace by those who work for and make peace 
[in themselves and in others, 
that peace which means concord, agreement, and harmony 
between individuals, with undisturbedness, in a peaceful mind, free from fears and agitating passions and moral conflicts].

8/3/10

Thoughts.

I'm hiding in a corner in the far end of my bedroom. 
It's a tad snug to squeeze in here between my huge bed frame and the wall, but it is a comfortable snug.
I feel like when I was a kid, and I liked to hide...to think all by myself. 
Imagine. 
Or simply hide.

I have had some thoughts lately. 
Many, many thoughts spurred on by recent conversations and recent talks with God. 

[awkward segue]

As Christians, we must understand that truth is not truth simply because we want it to be so.
Likewise, UNtruth is not untrue simply because it suits us. 
It is not something to be shaped and molded into the likeness of that which pleases us. 
It is what it is - take it or leave it. 

I live my life pretty black and white. 
Sin is sin....and righteousness is righteousness.
There really is no in between for me. If I feel a check in my spirit, I'm probably going to stray from it. 
Understand that I am not saying that I am perfect by any means -- far, far from it.
But I do feel like most things, particularly SPIRITUAL things, are black and white.
I think that some things can have grey issues, but when we begin to weigh the pro's against the con's and the good vs. the bad of the grey issue.......we begin to enter dangerous waters. 
Most often times, when we find 'good' to outweigh the 'bad' regarding an issue that we have already felt a 'red flag' pop up in our Spirit over, that is usually when we begin to justify. And compromise.
I heard someone say the other night that people can compromise all day long, but they will still go to heaven. 
Weeelllll....I don't know about you, but I don't want to be one of those people. 
We WILL be held accountable for every action, inaction, word, thought, deed, etc. 
I don't want to get into heaven on a compromise vs. sin technicality. 

I find that when I encounter people who don't live like this ---------------- it absolutely boggles my mind -especially if that person is a Jesus loving, on-fire Christian. 
Listen, don't get me wrong. 
I have my issues, and my own dealings with sin....but if I mess up, I want to get rid of anything and everything that aided me in my sin. Often times, I've contemplated Matthew 5:29-30 after falling flat on my face, 

29 So if your eye—even your good eye[a]—causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your hand—even your stronger hand[b]—causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.

Clearly, cutting off or gouging out parts of my body wouldn't be the best idea, but to do what it takes to keep ourselves from falling into sin, or potentially falling into sin - is smart. 

However, I need the Lord to help me understand the grey areas, and those who venture in. 
It scares me. 
So many people have gotten lost in the 'grey' and have yet to come back. 
Sometimes I feel like Jeremiah, the weeping prophet crying over what I see coming, and what others don't. 

And, you know.....what can you do?
Stop?
Continue? 
Cry?

This is where the heavy sigh comes in. 
- - - 
Jesus grant me the grace, discernment, truth and love.