Discontent

I am discontent.

Not with life at the surface...but with the deeper aspects.
I am not satisfied with feeding my mind with smut that blatantly parades the things that don't glorify the Lord.
I am not satisfied with coming home from work and sitting in front of the t.v. multiple nights of the week.
I am not satisfied with shallow relationships.
I am not satisfied with a normal and luke-warm walk with the Lord.
I am not satisfied with the lost still being lost.
I am not satisfied with walking as the world walks.
I am not satisfied with a mediocre life.

I am discontent.

Only contentment is found in Him.
But if we don't seek His face or His hand....where are we seeking our contentment?
It cannot be found in the world...in the things of the world or the people of the world.

I am discontent.

With watching those of us who know truth, gloss it over.
With watching those of us who follow Christ....love the world.
And at times, with myself doing all of the above.

I am discontent.

With a life that looks no different than than my neighbor who is simply 'a good person'.
With a vocabulary that doesn't glorify God.
With a music selection that is full of perversion and depravity.
With a book selection that opens parts of my heart that ought to still be sleeping.

I am discontent.

I am tired of fighting the same battles.
I am tired of the same, consistent heart wounds.
I am tired of the same old.

I just am so tired...and discontent.
Oh, God help me in my discontentment!

Only You can relieve my heart.
It's Yours God, all of it.
I want change....I desire change...help me in my surrender.


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