Today I find myself at a loss.

I have reached the end of something.
My self? Control? Expectation? .... Dare I say, to some extent - hope?
[situational hope....applied not to life as a whole]

I have come to realize that deception is an ugly thing to watch take over a person.
It's like molasses....slow, dark, and impossibly thick.

And as I watch, I feel as though my hands are tied....I have chains around my ankles.
Truth is in my heart and in my mouth, but as I speak it runs off my lips, falls to the ground and pools at their feet.
[Meaningless, meaningless.]

And my heart!
It shouts:
What is of worth to you?
What is of importance to you?
Why do you spend your time on worthless things, frivolities and distractions?
Things that do not glorify the Lord?
He is calling! He is beckoning! He is worthy! 

WHY do we do what our flesh wants and deny that which we know the Lord has called us to?
Why, oh why do we allow our flesh to dictate our actions, our words, and our thoughts?
Why do we not choose truth and walk down the path of righteousness?
It might cause some discomfort, but righteousness never causes us the deep heartache of disobedience.

Oh flesh, how difficult you prove to be.
And, oh, that hearts weren't deceitful and wretched!!
Oh, for the strength to see through the veil of lies and see Your truth.
Oh, how the heart of God must grieve....
Oh, how the eyes are darkened and hidden from the light.
For: 'the eye is the lamp of the body. So if your eye is sound, your entire body will be full of light. But if your eye is unsound, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the very light in you [your conscience] is darkened, how dense is that darkness!' [Matt.6:22-23]
But He is a God who is higher and stronger and wiser.
His love is stronger than the cisterns we've dug for ourselves.
His love is stronger than death.
His love is stronger than sickness and deception.

Lord.........please move on the heart of your child....on the hearts of your children.

And move in my life...help me to be like You...help me to love....listen....and respond.


Anonymous said...

snap... this is intense. Something I can picture coming out of your mouth in my office. I miss working with you Tara.

See you this weekend I hope

Liveacts2 said...

amen girl-- so much truth!!! The stupidity of running from the truth is so much easier, yet so much more miserable.